Aliens

I am an alien in a foreign land.  I am a crocodile among alligators (pardon the Family Guy reference).  I am...

... a single woman in the Church.

You may laugh, but I have found it to be a real issue.  I am now 28 years-old.  I am a high school teacher.  I have never been married, nor do I have children.  Where do I fit?

College groups are focused on just that: college.  Young men and women are taught how to avoid the pitfalls and temptations found at many schools of higher education.  They play ultimate frisbee and sport "True Love Waits" rings while searching for THE ONE that God will bring into their lives.  As I enter my late twenties, I find that I cannot connect with these groups.  Our focuses, our desires, and our interests are different.  I have nothing against college groups, but they are no longer for me.  I know that many churches have started 20-somethings groups, rather than college groups.  I like this idea very much.  Unfortunately, there is not a group like this at the church I attend.

I've tried many women's groups at different churches to no avail.  I sit in silence while these lovely women discuss their husbands and children.  I listen as they encourage each other in ways to put their husbands first and be more patient with their children.  Again, I have nothing against women's groups, but I cannot contribute to them.

Many churches have started singles groups: this is a step in the right direction.  I am blessed to be at a church that recognizes this need.  I have gone to this group twice, and each time, I was the youngest person there by at least twenty years.  I am glad that older singles have a chance to mingle and mix and be, but I don't seem to fit there, either.

Singles can't catch a break listening to Christian radio, either.  Most of the DJs are married, and they share cute stories about their children's antics and sweet anecdotes of what their husbands do for anniversaries and birthdays.  They promote "Authentic Marriage" week and "Love Your Spouse" week.  People call in about how the music they play has revolutionized their marriage.  In all my years of listening to Christian radio, I have heard one song by an unmarried person about waiting for God's best.  The song wasn't even that good!

I am not just talking about a desire to "find a man".  I am talking about a genuine connection with people of both genders.  Being my age and coming from a small town (not to mention a Bible college), most of the people I know are married and/or having children.  I'm very happy for them, but it's not like we can go to movies on a whim or go out for dinner on a Tuesday night (when there are teacher discounts!).  Babysitters must be acquired.  Early curfews are an absolute must.  Being home to spend time with the hubby after a hard day at work is much more desirable than going to a crowded restaurant or coffee shop.  It's not impossible to be friends with married women, but our priorities are different.

And, although it's not my focus, there is the issue of the male gender.  I would love to be married and having children, but it doesn't seem to be in the cards right now.  I have also found that I know very few unmarried Christian men.  In fact, I know one.  The dating pool is not very large.

Authentic Christian men are extraordinarily hard to find.  I have tried different dating sites - including the one that is the go-to site for Christians.  I had a couple of guys who wanted to marry me after two weeks, which was completely scary and crazy.  You can't possibly be ready to spend the rest of your life with someone after filling out a couple questionnaires and exchanging pleasantries via email.  The others I met had expectations of me not in line with Biblical standards.  How can you say you desire a godly woman and then expect her to have sex with you after 1-2 dates?  I swear I'm not exaggerating!

I know this seems like a giant list of complaints, but I honestly don't mean it to be.  I am genuinely concerned about this problem in the Church.  I cannot be the only single woman in her late twenties left in America.  I attend a church with a large and diverse congregation, so why was I the only young woman at the singles group?  Why are marriage and family the only topics discussed when Christian women get together?  Why is it that, when the Church does speak to and about single people, it's only in reference to preparing for marriage?

I realize that none of these things are done intentionally, but I feel alienated.  I feel cut off and alone.  If the Church doesn't step up and address these issues, I'm afraid we will lose an entire generation of people like me: people who are so tired of not knowing where we belong.  The Church is supposed to be a place of welcome and refuge and safety.  Instead, I tune out every time there's another sermon about marriage.  I feel that singleness is treated like a disease that must be cured by marriage.  We have gifts, talents, and insights to offer.  We're not asking to be set-up; we want to be accepted as the single people we are and find our place in the Body of Christ.

Through the Valley of Shadow and Death

It has been a long time since I last posted.  Since my last post, I've graduated from college, accepted a teaching position at a high school, and been on a turbulent roller coaster of emotions.  I've experienced dizzying highs and abysmal lows.  My heart has quickened with the feelings of love and devotion and has broken when they were taken away.  Over the past few months, I have loved, lost, rejoiced, and wept.  And God has been there through it all.

I do not always act the way I should.  I have failed when faced with temptation.  I sometimes - even with the best intentions - hurt those I love.  As much as I'd love to be the perfect Christian example, I often meet with disaster in spectacular fashion.

Sometimes I let the guilt and grief overwhelm me.  The darts of the enemy find their way underneath my armor and pierce my heart until I am almost conquered.  It is at these times that I must cling tightly to what I know is true.  It is now when I must hold fast, even when it appears that there is nothing to which I can hold.

I know that God is never angry at me.  His love and goodness inundate me and engulf me during my darkest moments.  It is when I fall that He shows Himself more powerful and present in my life than I could ever possibly imagine.  It is when I am at my weakest that He is at His strongest.  When I have nothing left, He replenishes me.

I once opened a fortune cookie to find in it the phrase, "The usefulness of a cup is found only in its emptiness."  It became the phrase that has illustrated my past few months so perfectly.  When everything is going well, I tend to fall into the trap of feeling self-sufficient.  I do not depend upon my heavenly Father as much as I need to.  Inevitably, something goes wrong, and I fall apart.

Please hear my heart: I am not saying that God caused these things to happen in my life to make me realize how much I need Him.  Any situation that pained me was a natural consequence to choices I made, but God never abandoned me.  In fact, I believe that He kept me from completely ruining myself, although I couldn't see it at the time.  I now can see His faithfulness evident in everything I experienced.  In every tear, in every throb of my aching heart, He was surrounding me with His love, peace, and comfort.  He moved my friends to action - praying for me and helping me stand when I could not on my own.  He is and always has been more than I could ever need or want.

Now I empty myself.  I empty myself of the guilt and the shame for which He has already forgiven me.  Once again, I surrender myself to God.  I cede my plans to my Father who only has the best in mind for me.  I embrace His nature, His love, and His design.  I may have to walk this road for a time, and I know there will be opportunities for me to fail again, but I have to keep walking.  Every day is a choice: a choice to do things God's way rather than my own.  I've experienced my way, and it's not worth it.  So I'll just keep walking.

God's Daughters: Eve, Part 2 - The Promise

Even as God meted out punishment for Adam and Eve's sin, He provided them with a hope for the future. Before God pronounced the consequences of their sin, He turned to the deceiver. In Genesis 3:15, God says to the serpent, "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."

Many biblical scholars believe that this was a prophecy about the coming Messiah - God's plan to redeem humanity. I don't think that anything we do surprises God. He knew that Judas was the one who would betray Him, but Jesus still washed the traitor's feet. I haven't found any Bible story in which God was stumped by something. He must have known that the humans He had created would esteem a serpent's advice above His loving guidelines. Instead of leaving them in their sin, God already had a plan in mind. He knew that He would one day send His own Son to suffer and die - to pay the price for humanity's sin - and to defeat the enemy once and for all.

God's incredible mercy is so amazing to me. Eve had sinned. Period. And yet, before her judgment was given, Eve knew it was through her line that salvation would come. She had given into the serpent's temptation, but her offspring would one day resist the serpent and crush his head. Her offspring would provide a more secure salvation - one dependent upon His perfect nature and not fragile humanity.

Adam and Eve's relationship with God was balanced upon a point: if they stayed away from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, they were safe. They had one rule to obey. It may seem easy to us, but anyone who has ever spent time with children knows that the forbidden is always an attractive option. In my babysitting adventures, I've learned never to tell a child to stay away from something. The moment your back is turned, he is on the move. Some people might ask, "If God didn't want them to disobey, why did He put that tree in the Garden?" I would counter with this question: is it really free will if you don't have a choice? God wanted a relationship with living, moving, breathing beings - not mindless robots. We had to be able to choose whether or not we desired that relationship.

When Jesus paid the price for our sin, He removed the barrier that existed between humans and God. The legacy of sin that began with Eve's mistake was ended with Jesus' sacrifice. Our salvation became based upon His death and resurrection rather than anything that we could ever do. Mistakes can never again alter our standing with God.

In the meantime, Eve had to face the consequences for her sin. I'm sure many of us know what those consequences were. I want to look at what happens next...

In Genesis 3: 20, Adam went back to doing what he had been told to do: naming all of creation. He gave Eve her title. If you'll notice, she had never been referred to by name until that point. "Eve" is actually the feminine form of the Hebrew word for "life." They had just experienced spiritual death (separation from God), and it had basically been Eve's fault. Yet, her husband still gave her a moniker that means "life."

Eve is also the first person on record to use the name of God. In Dr. Friedman's translation of Genesis 4:1, she gives birth to a son and says, "I've created a man with YHWH." Eve knew that she and God had worked together to produce this miracle. Clearly, she still felt an intimate link with her Creator.

Despite her circumstances, Eve's love for her Father never changed. She must have known that all was not lost. The one who had led her astray was not going to be allowed to reign over her children forever. Her loving God could bring good out of the mess she had made. Of course, we know how it turns out.

We all feel alone and abandoned sometimes. There are moments when we think that God is distant. Imagine how Eve must have been feeling, but she didn't let it beat her. This daughter of God kept pressing in - cultivating a precious connection with God that would sustain her through numerous hardships.

Whatever you are facing in your life, I encourage you to do the same. Don't let the mistakes of your past determine the course of your life. You are never far away from Him - just turn around, and there He is. Let your heavenly Father wash away the sting of what has happened and refresh you in His glorious light.

Friedman, Richard E. (2001). Commentary on the Torah with a New English Translation and the Hebrew Text. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

God's Daughters: Eve, Part 1 - The Fall

I’m sure many of us are familiar with the story of Adam and Eve. Even if we aren't religious, we know the story inside and out. Adam was alone, God created Eve, Eve sinned, Adam sinned, women are cursed, the end. That’s that, right?

This story has been the justification for the mistreatment of women for years. There are those who believe that because Eve tempted Adam to sin, all women are inferior, weak, and easily overcome. Some cite this account as the beginning of misogynistic tendencies in the Christian Church.

I wish I could say that these allegations of misconduct toward women are invalid, but I cannot. What I can say is that I know this was never God's plan. I believe that the abuse and the manipulation of His daughters hurt God more than it could ever hurt us. I know how much my earthly father loves me and how angry he would be if anyone hurt me, and I can't help but see my heavenly Father reflected in that.

Eve messed up. There's no denying that fact, but maybe we can shed some light on this situation. In my last post in this "series" (God's Daughters: The First Woman), I left off just after the creation of woman. I want to pick up right there.

In Genesis 3, Satan, in the guise of a snake, approaches the woman. Now, why did he approach the woman first? I have actually heard it postulated that, because the woman is the "weaker vessel", Satan found her an easier target than the man.

I don't buy that for a second.

The first thing the snake said was, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'" (Genesis 3:1)? This question is very revealing in a couple of ways. Most importantly, it was a challenge to Eve. What he was really asking was, "Is God so unjust that He won't let you eat any of this delicious-looking fruit?" It was not a fair question, since God had said in the previous chapter that they could eat of the fruit of all the trees of the Garden except one. Secondly, it was phrased negatively - has God said you may not eat. God's original statement was phrased positively - you may eat. Satan's phrasing would immediately make one question the will and the affection of God.

As a loving daughter, Eve tried to defend her Father: "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die'" (Genesis 3:2, 3). In her retort, Eve misquoted God. God never said that Adam and Eve could not touch the fruit. In fact, according to the Biblical account, Eve hadn't been created when God gave this particular command. Eve had received her information from Adam. We don't know if Adam told Eve she shouldn't touch the fruit. Perhaps he said that to her in order to ensure her protection, or maybe it was simply a miscommunication. Whatever it was, it caused a major problem, and I believe that the enemy knew it. He knew that Eve had not been given this directive first-hand, so he could manipulate the information to his benefit. It had nothing to do with Eve's physical, emotional, and spiritual strength.

Satan responded by saying, "You will not surely die... For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:4, 5). We know what happened next: Eve's eyes were taken off the right path, and she was directed toward doing what she knew to be wrong. Then, she took the fruit. As soon as she touched it and didn't die, Eve must have felt that God was lying to her. She ate the fruit.

Satan was incredibly cunning. Not only did he question what God had said, he caused Eve to question her very identity. He told her that by eating the fruit, she would be like God. Eve had already been created in God's image. She couldn't become any more like God.

One of the questions that comes to mind when pondering these things is... what was Adam doing while his wife was thus tempted? In Genesis 3:6, we find the answer: "When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it" (emphasis mine). Adam - who had heard God's original command - didn't step in to correct the serpent's sly accusations. Adam didn't protect his wife when her existence was being attacked, and he didn't stop Eve from eating the fruit. This was a monumental failure on his part, and I believe that we have seen the consequences of Adam's inaction in the attitudes and lifestyles of men today. (That's a completely separate topic, however, and I will not address it here.)

Adam fails again when God confronts the couple about their sin. Instead of taking responsibility for his own actions, Adam says, "The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it" (Genesis 3:12). Not only does Adam place blame on Eve, he subtly charges God with responsibility for his sin because God's creation had tempted him. I'm sure it must have been a rocky point in Adam and Eve's marriage.

God did not address this issue at that moment. Instead, He turned to Eve and asked for her version of the story. Eve told the truth: "The serpent deceived me, and I ate" (Genesis 3:13). She accepted the consequences of her actions, and she watched as an immovable barrier was constructed between her and her loving Creator.

Yes, Eve had sinned. She had messed up, erred, blundered, but she hadn't ruined everything. Neither had her husband - her partner in crime. There was hope on the horizon, and God loved His children too much to let them go that easily.

Sex Talk

Sometimes I find that I can have the deepest and most honest conversations with people who don't necessarily agree with me. If we come together with mutual respect, we can offer discussion points about divisive topics without actually being divisive. These kinds of friends are invaluable. Hold on to them!

If you read my last blog, you know that I'm going through a difficult time in my relationship with God. I was struggling with what I have always believed and wondering if I still truly believe it. It's a scary thing to be feeling because I have invested so much of my life in my relationship with God.

I was recently talking with a very dear friend of mine, and a subject arose about which we have differing views: premarital sex. Now, I'm not going to lie and say that I never think about sex. I'm a 26-year-old virgin; of course I think about sex! It's almost impossible not to. We live in a culture in which sex is commonplace. In fact, if you haven't lost your virginity by the age of sixteen, you're considered almost alien. It was amazing, though, how much I learned during our conversation. When I was confronted with someone who felt differently about the situation, I realized how important the topic is to me.

I once attended a party, and my friends were standing around criticizing anyone who was unrealistic enough to try and wait to have sex until marriage. I raised my hand and said, "That would be me!" I remember the awkward and disbelieving looks I received. The host of the party actually called me later to apologize because he felt so awful that my lifestyle choice had received such judgment.

Most of my friends are not Christians. This does not bother me at all. In fact, I cherish their unique viewpoints, and I love the avenues God has opened for me with them. However, it can be difficult to maintain my beliefs when I'm being encouraged on every side to disregard them. I even found myself changing my responses to their questions. Instead of "I want to wait until marriage," it became "I hope I can wait until marriage." Please know that this did not happen right away. It was a gradual wearing away of my defenses. In fact, I was shocked when I first heard myself saying it aloud.

I began to think that maybe I shouldn't wait. After all, I know many married couples who had sex before they were married, and they turned out all right. Maybe I could really consider it if I found someone who I truly loved but wasn't ready to marry. The world has changed, and perhaps I need to change with it. And then I talked to a married woman who hadn't waited. Years later, she still regrets it - not because there was something wrong with her marriage, but because she hurt her heavenly Father. For years, she lived in fear that her daughter would ask her that question: "Did you and Daddy wait?" I don't want to live with that fear. I want to be able to say to my future children, "We did things God's way, and it was worth it."

We live in a world that treats sex as though it is casual. We are inundated with explicit images when we walk through a mall, turn on a television, or go to a movie theater. Even reading the covers of magazines in the grocery store check-out line can cause our minds to be transported to the intimacy of the bedroom.

Author Rob Bell maintains that there are two central attitudes toward sexuality: animals and angels. The animal attitude suggests that we have primal cravings that cannot be denied or helped, so they should be acted upon without hesitation. To the people who think this way, sex is basic biology and pure instinct. On the angel side of it are those people who completely deny the fact that they are sexual beings with desires and urges. Bell says, "Denying and stuffing and repressing never work because it's a failure to acknowledge what is central to being a human being." Both are out of balance with how God intended sexuality to be.

The fact is that humans are different from every other creature in existence. We discuss differences between right and wrong, we can make moral decisions, and we are romantic and idealistic. In the wild, you never see a duck heartbroken over the fact that her boyfriend didn't call after engaging in romantic relations. We are unique because we were created in the image of God Himself.

One of the problems is that we lack a reverence for the very fact that we are created in the image of the living God. We treat our bodies as if they're nothing special, forgetting that God lovingly crafted us from the dust of the earth - shaping, forming, and molding us into a form that was pleasing to Him. In 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20, the apostle Paul writes, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body."

I don't know how much you know about the Bible, but the Jewish temple was a holy place. Only a select few could get past the outer courts and into the place where the manifest presence of God resided. There were intricate ceremonies and rites that had to be performed so that the priest who entered God's presence would not be struck down. Thankfully, we don't have to do this anymore. Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross enabled us to come before the Lord anytime we like. However, to compare our bodies to such a holy place is a huge deal.

Only a few verses before, Paul had said, "'Everything is permissible for me' - but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me' - but I will not be mastered by anything" (1 Corinthians 6:12). If everything is permissible, then what's wrong with giving into our sexual urges? The point is that God may not withhold blessings from us because we have sex outside of marriage, but it doesn't mean that it's what He wants for us.

I love what Jason Evert wrote in his book, If You Really Loved Me: "Just because a person is capable of physical intimacy, it does not mean that he or she is capable of the other kinds of intimacy that hold a marriage together. Because sex has the power to bond, the experience may seem wonderful in the initial stages of a relationship and both partners will feel quite 'compatible.' But think about a couple you know who has been married for fifty years. They are sitting there on the front porch swing, smiling with all their wrinkles at each other. Do you think it is because they are so sexually compatible? They are still together because they have been refined by the fires of love, not burnt by the counterfeits of lust."

I understand that not everyone is going to agree with me. Whether you do or not, I hope that you come to view sex as more than just an incidental connection. I know that I desire God's best for my life. I'm willing to put my own desires on hold so that I can fulfill God's plan. According to 1 Corinthians 13, love is not self-seeking. When I do have sex, it won't be because I'm looking for self-gratification because I can't control my inclinations any longer. I'm holding out for something that is infinitely better: authentic love based upon self-sacrifice, mutual respect and admiration, and a sense of connection that goes deeper than just the physical.





Works used:

Bell, Rob. (2007). Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality. Michigan: Zondervan.

Evert, Jason. (2004). If You Really Loved Me. California: Catholic Answers, Inc.

Confession

When I created this blog, I resolved to be as honest as I possibly could about my walk with God. In the interest of being completely transparent, I must confess something: I'm struggling.

One thing I hear over and over from my friends is that I am very put together. I project an image of total confidence, and everyone thinks I have it all figured out.

I don't.

If you've been reading my blog for any period of time, you probably know that I've been feeling like I'm in a waiting room. I would keep saying, "I choose to trust You, I choose to love You, I choose to serve You." Well, I got frustrated. I got tired. And I got impatient.

Sometimes I feel like my life has been almost nothing but trying times. I know that I'm blessed beyond measure with my family, but I've also seen my family struggle financially for my entire life. I know that God heals, and yet my sister has had severe knee problems for years. I know that God has good plans for me, but I'm a 26-year-old undergrad who still doesn't know what I want to be when I grow up.

And that's when I begin to sound like a child throwing a tantrum. Things in my life aren't going my way? I think I'll be angry at God for it. There are so many people worse off than I am, so why am I complaining?

I don't believe this invalidates what I feel. Someone else may be walking through much more difficult circumstances, but that doesn't mean that my feelings are not authentic. And I know - even in the midst of my childishness - that God still cares about what I'm feeling.

My dog is very sick. She has a large tumor on her underbelly that just keeps growing. When I left my house yesterday, she could barely even walk because of it. My heart broke for her, and I just sat in my car sobbing. I love my dog, and I can't do a thing to help her. My family doesn't have the money for an operation to save her.

As I wept in my car, I began to think about my love for my dog. She's been a part of my family for a long time, and she's been a sweet and loyal pet. But that's what she is: a pet. As much as I love her, I could never care for her as I care for my siblings and friends. And yet, if I had the means, nothing would stop me from saving her. If I love my dog that much, how much more does my heavenly Father love me?

In Matthew 7:9-11, Jesus says, "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

God crafted humanity from the very dust. He gave His only Son to suffer and die just so that He didn't have to live without me. He has blessed me with an extraordinary family and a collection of friends I cherish. Obviously, He loves me more than I could possibly imagine. What is there in me that still doubts?

Unfortunately, living on this earth won't always be easy. We are reminded over and over that a relationship with God doesn't make life any easier. It just gets harder. It gets harder, but it gets richer. Lamentations 3:22-24 says, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.'"

So I must resign myself to wait... again.

Once again, I have to choose. I still choose to trust and love and serve, and "I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings until the disaster has passed" (Psalm 57:1b). It will pass, and I'll come out of this stronger and more sure of my relationship with God than ever. Even though I can't see the end result right now, He can. I will wait.

God's Daughters: The Creation of Woman

The world wasn't perfect to begin with.

When God created the world, He saw that everything He had created - everything He had breathed and spoken into existence - was good. And yet, something was amiss in this new, unblemished universe. There was only one thing that gave Him displeasure: the human He had formed with His own hands was alone.

The very first problem.

We all know this story. Next, God brought before Adam all the creatures that had been made. Adam was given the task of naming them all, but none were found to be a suitable partner for him. I don't believe that this was ignorance or innocence on God's part. He knew that He alone could create a match for Adam. I believe that Adam needed to realize this.

At this point in many translations, God says something about creating a helper for Adam. I love Dr. Friedman's translation: "And YHWH God said, 'It's not good for the human to be by himself. I'll make for him a strength corresponding to him'" (emphasis mine).

This completely changes the way we look at the first woman. She wasn't created just to be a servant to the man. She was created to be a strength to him. Please understand what I'm saying: I am not forgetting that we are called to serve each other in Christ. I am simply trying to combat those who have downplayed woman's role. A woman is not a maid, meant to be at the beck and call of her husband. She has a unique role to play that cannot and should not be disdained.

Adam had to realize that there was nothing else on earth that could fill that longing for companionship. No matter how much apes may resemble us, Adam knew that he could not lend his strength to (i.e. perform husbandly duties) and, in turn, be strengthened by such a creature. (For the record, I don't have anything against apes.)

Eve was God's final handiwork in the formation process. She was the grand finale and the culmination of creation. John MacArthur says this: "Adam was refined dirt; Eve was a glorious refinement of humanity itself." God had made for Adam exactly what he needed and wanted.

I want to point out that God did not just create Eve for Adam. God knew that Adam alone could not represent God's image. God is not a man, so how could one man do justice to God's image? Our heavenly Father knew that femininity was also needed to complete the picture. I would suggest that God knew all along that He needed two humans to embody His image on earth, so He created Adam for Eve and Eve for Adam.

It is important to note that men and women are created differently but not unequally. From the beginning, our roles have been designed to complement each other. This has been an issue of contention since the dawn of humanity. God recognized the need for both masculinity and femininity. Neither was meant to dominate the other. I'm sure you've all heard the old saying - God took woman from man's side, not to rule over him or to be under his rule, but to walk beside him and be his partner. Our differences should emphasize the fact that we need to work together.

Men were created as physically stronger beings. Some women take great offense to this, but it is true in most of the world. I would ask this question: Do you think Adam was longing for someone exactly like himself? Or do you think he was pleased by her feminine curves, the hair cascading down her back, and those softly batting eyelashes? (This is not intended to be a discussion on homosexuality, so please don't take it as such - that's a different issue altogether.) Men and women each represent a part of God's image. Women may not have the same form as men, but we have different strengths.

I love what John MacArthur says on this subject: "Feminism has devalued and defamed femininity. Natural gender distinctions are usually downplayed, dismissed, despised, or denied. As a result, women are now being sent into combat situations, subjected to grueling physical labor once reserved for men, exposed to all kinds of indignities in the workplace, and otherwise encouraged to act and talk like men. Meanwhile, modern feminists heap scorn on women who want family and household to be their first priorities - disparaging the role of motherhood, the one calling that is most uniquely and exclusively feminine. The whole message of feminist egalitarianism is that there is really nothing extraordinary about women."

This attitude that women must act like men in order to be "equal" downplays the very creation of women in the first place. Our differences are okay. Women should celebrate the fact that we are different from men rather than despising it. When a woman chooses to stay at home, why do we call her just a housewife? I'm not saying that women shouldn't work or that women who choose to work are unfit mothers. I just want to put things in perspective. We are not men. We are women. Let's revel in our femininity, ladies!

There are several books I would love to recommend if you are curious about this subject. Lisa Bevere has wonderful books about the roles of women and femininity. Fight Like a Girl, Nurture, and Lioness Arising are all worthy reads, and Lisa speaks much more eloquently on the subject than I ever could. I also love John MacArthur's book, Twelve Extraordinary Women, which tells the stories of some of the exceptional women of God featured in His word.



Works used:

Friedman, Richard E. (2001). Commentary on the Torah with a New English Translation and the Hebrew Text. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

MacArthur, John. (2005). Twelve Extraordinary Women. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, Inc.