Have you ever seen West Side Story? There's a great scene in which Tony is sure that something good and exciting is just around the corner. He sings about it in a tune entitled, "Something's Coming". Maybe it's down the block or on a beach. Maybe he can reach it by holding still. Tony doesn't know what it is, but he knows it will change his life.
And it does.
This feeling started coming upon me about a year ago. There was a change in the wind, a shift in the current. Suddenly I knew that my life was going to change. If you had asked me what was coming, I couldn't have told you - I still can't tell you, but I know it's there, just out of reach.
When I first had this feeling of expectation, I assumed it would come immediately. I kept waiting for something extraordinary to happen. I waited... and waited... and waited... and waited some more.
Zilch.
Nada.
Nothing.
I began to think that maybe I had been wrong about the impending transition, but now I don't think I was.
God never wastes a single moment we give Him. He is always at work in our lives, even when we can't sense it. I am convinced that this anticipation of change is simply God preparing me for the next step. I'm in the "waiting room".
Waiting rooms are always the most boring places on earth. You fill out the same papers every single visit (shouldn't they have some of those still on file?), you thumb through month-old magazines, and you try to keep away from the person with the racking cough in the chair next to you. No one ever does anything actually productive. They are waiting. And they are stagnant.
There's a wonderful song by John Waller called "While I'm Waiting". This song is so relevant to where I am right now in my life because waiting periods should not be stagnant periods. This waiting period is a time for me to serve, worship, love, and trust Him. Every second of this time is precious. It is time to commune with my Savior and learn more and more about Him and what He wants for my life.
The waiting times can seem like the toughest times. As the feeling of preparation builds within me, I think that it should be visible in the world around me. Sometimes I feel as though I'm walking through hip-high snow drifts, and I would much rather give up and build snowmen than trample out a path. I don't even know how close I am to the end of the waiting! And then there are those who give the cliched response, "God's timing is perfect." I just want to punch them. I KNOW!
However, I don't know when I've been more dependent on Him. I choose to trust and to be patient because I desire His will above anything else. My mantra has become, "I choose to trust You. I choose to serve You. I choose to love You." I mutter this every day, several times a day. Some days I say it more often than others.
When I adopted this attitude, my eyes were opened to how God is using me in the waiting room. I have established relationships with people from different backgrounds, different faiths, and different lifestyles, and I cherish these friendships. In this waiting period, I have had the opportunity to sing for the President of the United States. That's kind of a big deal!
I have no idea what God has next for me. It could be teaching, or grad school, or (dare I say it?) marriage. Whatever may come, I choose to make this time one of absolute dependency upon the Lord. I choose to use this time to strengthen my relationship with Him. I choose not to be stagnant. I choose to trust Him. I choose to serve Him. I choose to love Him.
I may need to say it again in a few minutes.
