The Whole Message

A few years ago, I attended Bible college. My goal in going was to equip myself to be able to preach the Word and tell people about Christ. The relationships I made while there have deeply impacted me, and I'm so thankful for the awesome people who have spoken into my life. However, my experiences there were not all good.

The Bible college I attended was heavily focused on living in the blessings of God. There is not anything inherently wrong in that. I do believe that God wants to bless us, but the teaching was so out of balance with the word of God.

The president of the college told us that many of the students left the school more prosperous than when they came. We were told that, if we sowed money into God's work, we would receive a rich harvest in return. If we reap what we sow, then sowing money means we reap more money, right? I was excited about the things of God and immediately accepted whatever I was told. I gave into every offering that was received and tithed on every cent I earned. And I ended up not being able to pay my rent.

The message wasn't limited to money. God's grace and the freedom we have in Him was also a key message. "God loves you! He loves you, He loves you, He loves you, and there's nothing you can do about it!" Again, this is not wrong! We can never out-sin God's grace and love, but this message was not balanced, and it was taken to the extreme. I remember when a guest speaker lectured on ethics in ministry. One of my fellow students was outraged. He wanted to know how these "rules" fit in with the "grace" of God. We had been so focused on the grace of God that we had forgotten what it means to live for Him.

I left Bible college feeling destroyed. My life didn't look like what I thought it was supposed to. I wasn't prosperous (financially). I was being spiritually attacked on all sides. Where were the blessings I was supposed to receive? Why couldn't anything in my life come easily? Most of my friends were being blessed with amazing job offers and living lives that I envied. I was ready to walk away from God, and, for a time, I did.

Because what I was learning was so one-sided, I could not explain what was happening in my life. I felt lost and alone, and I was not properly equipped to handle my circumstances. I wasn't even sure I could talk to my fellow students because I was scared they would think that there was something wrong with my faith.

Now, please hear my heart: I am not putting the blame on my teachers. Most of them are sincere, wonderful men and women of God who live what they teach. Part of the problem was that I too readily believed everything that was taught without studying the Scriptures for myself.

John 16:33 says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (emphasis mine). In this verse, Jesus promises that we will experience troubles in this world. Being a Christian does not mean we get to live an easy life. In fact, living for God is often more difficult that living a secular life because there is an enemy who desperately wants to stop us.

God's grace doesn't give us a license to sin. The standard of grace is actually higher than the standard of the law. For instance, the Old Testament law says, "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14), but Jesus informs us that "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). It is God's grace that empowers us to live a life devoted to Him.

When I focused on the "prosperity" message, I overlooked all the blessings God had so richly poured into my life. When I focused on the "grace" message, I allowed sinful thoughts to enter my mind because I knew that God's grace covered my sin. I was "focusing" myself right into a hardened and ungrateful heart. The message taught wasn't necessarily wrong; it was only one part of the truth.

We cannot just pick and choose what we want to believe in the Bible. Either it is all true, or it is all false. We cannot accept the grace of God and abandon the fear (awe, respect) of God. God does want us to be blessed, but being so intent upon financial blessing to the exclusion of everything else is wrong.

I'm still wading through the aftermath of my time at the Bible college. I'm still hurting from some of the lessons I learned, but I'm working on it. I'm learning to study the Scriptures for myself and find the truth that is embedded in every single word. I'm beginning to let go of the bitterness and anger I have felt for three years toward the college, and I am starting to remember all the amazing things I experienced there.

God is so good to me. He was able to take a wreck of a human being and transform her into a real, whole person. As we used to say at Bible college, "I may not have arrived at my final destination, but at least I've left the air strip!"